By Giulia Moro
There are moments we would rather never remember, and then there are others that, while they are happening, already make us feel a strange sense of nostalgia. It is almost as if a part of us knows that the moment will eventually disappear. We might be sitting with friends, travelling somewhere, listening to a song or simply enjoying an ordinary afternoon, and suddenly think: I am going to miss this one day. But why does this happen? Why can we feel attached to something that is not even part of the past yet? And why, if you are anything like me, can nostalgia feel almost impossible to resist?
What Is Nostalgia?
Nostalgia is usually described as a sentimental longing for the past. It can be triggered by memories, people, places, smells, music or even very small details that seem insignificant at first. Emotionally, however, nostalgia is more complicated than simply remembering something. Memory allows us to recall an experience, while nostalgia gives that memory an emotional meaning. A particular song can suddenly bring back an entire period of our lives. The smell of a certain food can remind us of a family member. Walking through a familiar street can make us think about a version of ourselves that existed years ago.
Nostalgia can therefore connect the past with the present in a very particular way. We know that what we remember cannot be experienced again in exactly the same form, yet our mind can make it feel temporarily close. This is probably one of the reasons nostalgia can be both comforting and painful. We are reminded of something meaningful, but at the same time we are reminded that it has changed or disappeared.
A Nostalgic Person
I have always considered myself a chronic nostalgic. I have a strong sense of attachment to life, and sometimes even the smallest details can become meaningful to me. A flower I smell while walking, a particular sunset, a conversation, a train journey, a song or even an ordinary afternoon can stay in my mind because I know that it will never happen in exactly the same way again.
Perhaps this is why I sometimes experience nostalgia while I am still living a moment. There are situations in which I already feel a kind of emotional attachment to what is happening, even though nothing has ended yet. I can enjoy an experience while simultaneously imagining myself looking back at it in the future. It is a strange feeling: part of me is present in the moment, while another part is already remembering it.
This can make ordinary experiences feel much more significant. When we know that something is temporary, we may become more aware of it. A conversation becomes more important because we know it will end. A summer feels different because we know September will eventually arrive. Even a familiar routine can suddenly seem precious when we realise that our lives are constantly changing.
Missing a Time We Never Lived
My relationship with nostalgia becomes even stranger when I think about periods of history that I never actually experienced. I have often felt that I somehow belong to another era, especially the 1990s. I am fascinated by the idea of a time when people did not have smartphones in their hands all day, when communication was slower and when everyday life seemed less permanently connected to technology.
Of course, this is an idealised image. I did not experience the 1990s as an adult, and I cannot genuinely know what everyday life was like for everyone who lived during that period. My idea of that decade is constructed through films, music, photographs, stories and the memories of other people. In a sense, I am nostalgic for an imagined past rather than a personal one.
And perhaps this is one of the most interesting things about nostalgia: we can sometimes miss things that we never actually had. We can develop an emotional relationship with a period, a place or even a lifestyle that exists mainly in our imagination. The past becomes an idea rather than a memory, and we fill that idea with everything we feel is missing from the present.
Why Do We Romanticise the Past?
One reason nostalgia can feel so powerful is that our memories are not perfect recordings of what happened. When we look back, we do not necessarily remember an entire period of our lives exactly as it was. We tend to remember particular moments, people, emotions and details that had meaning for us. The difficult, boring or uncomfortable parts may become less prominent, while the moments associated with happiness or belonging can become much more vivid.
This does not mean that nostalgic memories are false. It simply means that memory is selective, and our relationship with the past changes over time. We can look at the same experience differently when we are twenty, thirty or fifty years old because we are no longer the same person who originally lived it.
This is also why nostalgia can make the past seem safer than the present. The past is already known. We know how the story ended, while the present is uncertain and the future is completely unknown. When life feels confusing or overwhelming, looking back can therefore provide a sense of familiarity and continuity. Remembering who we were can help us understand who we are becoming.
The Strange Beauty of Missing Something
Despite its sadness, I do not think nostalgia is necessarily something we should try to avoid. There is something beautiful about being able to look at an ordinary moment and realise that it has meaning. We often spend our lives waiting for the next thing: the next holiday, the next academic year, the next job, the next relationship, the next chapter. We are constantly moving towards something else, sometimes without noticing what is happening in front of us.
Nostalgia reminds us that our lives are made of moments that eventually become memories. The fact that we can miss something means that it mattered to us. A person, a place, a song, a summer or even a completely ordinary afternoon can become part of our personal history without us realising its importance at the time.
Maybe this is why I love nostalgia so much. It can be painful, but it also reminds me to pay attention. If one day I am going to miss this moment, perhaps I should appreciate it while I am still living it. After all, the present is simply the future memory we have not created yet.
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